You don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore...

I knew what I had. What I had was something magnificent. I had something that I won't be able to describe. I had something that finally gave me motivation to do the things that I do, but I had to let it go...

A friend once told me, "If you love something, you have to let it go." I let it go, and only then did I realize how important it was to me. Only then did I see how much I actually needed it. Now that I don't have it, I don't have any motivation. I'm barely coming by with school. My friends are noticing that I'm much more quiet. I'm noticing that I don't want to do anything, but lie down. I don't even want to do anything while lying down...

I feel like all of the motivation that I had went with what I let go...

I feel like there's nothing left that I can do...

I feel like my life is hopeless...

I don't even know anymore. For the past few nights, I haven't been sleeping properly. From sleep deprivation, I have been getting stressed more easily than before. From the stress, my performance in everything I do has been going down. I haven't picked up my guitar (when I usually do), school is going down the drain, my acting has been bad, and working out hasn't been happening.

Now I realize how much it meant to me... Now I realize that it has been my motivation... And now, I realize I can't do anything without it...